Don't make Schlemmonade; that's cannibalism.

Well, bugger me that was a surprise. I have made a blog. Because I saw that my friends had, and because I'm bored, in case you were wondering (which you're not because literally no one is reading this).

So what will I post here? I don't know. I'm fully aware that's a bad start, but I don't care. Part of me would like to write scathing, witty social commentaries in the vein of Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell's Guardian columns. The rest of me knows that I will never be able to do that. But if I don't do something on this page then really, why did I waste my time writing all of this?

So I'll sleep on it. That's what I'll do. Not that sleeping on it ever helps- when are you supposed to do the thinking? While you're asleep? Is that possible?* If you do the thinking while you're awake, are you really sleeping on it?*

Well, that was unoriginal and uninteresting. I think I'll try my luck at this some other time...

/Schlemmons

*Answer: no.